I was prepared for change, until changed slapped me in the face!



I saw my doctor last night for some forms to get an ultrasound. When he asked how I was feeling, I said "ohhhhhh morning sickness!" He laughed and said "All you women want to get pregnant so badly, and then when you are, you complain!" It's true!

 



 

I was fully prepared for what this might bring, but in all honesty, every day that I'm sick, I'm ecstatic because it means that Peanut is healthy and my pregnancy is going according to plan. However, I didn't realize how absolutely exhausting it is to not have an appetite for anything - and I mean anything.

The only things I want to eat are fruit, popsicles, and ice cream. Not exactly a balanced diet! Even my beloved coffee isn't appealing. Any hot drinks make me queasy. Tomatoes, fish, cheese - all things I basically ate every day now makes me dry hurl. Brushing my teeth is a competition with myself every day to make sure I brush every tooth before I gag. I have super-human smell recognition now - I smell everything around me, and that's not always a super power I'm happy to have.

My emotions are all over the place as well... I cry watching YouTube videos, talking to people, remembering events or old friends. Thankfully my husband has been supportive - he makes dinner, picks up groceries, makes me lemonaide, cleans up the dishes, helps with the housework, lets me sleep when I need to sleep, rubs my limbs when they are sore, and tells me every day that he loves me. He's already making fun of how my belly will look when our Peanut starts to grow, but I can't wait to see it. I will love this belly!

I was so prepared for this change within myself, but at the same time, it's not something you can really prepare for... every pregnancy is different, every person is different, and every symptom is different. I'm sure I'll wake up in 4 weeks and feel fabulous, rub my beautiful belly with Peanut resting peacefully inside, and I'll forget all about how this felt. But to be truthful (because this is my diary after all, so why would I not be) right now my body hates me and this sucks.

There - I said it - this sucks. But Peanut, you are so worth every minute of this!

Some things to consider...

I am the Q.U.E.E.N. of the spreadsheet. I spreadsheet all of our expenses, parties, shopping lists, etc. I love them. They keep me on track and organized. So when Aaron and I started talking about having a baby, I took to my current budget spreadsheet, figured out roughly what our new income would be, where we could cut expenses, where new expenses would come in, etc.

What I didn't realize was how much over-and-above costs we would incur leading up to the big day. So for all the future moms out there, here is a brief overview...

1. We found out that when we go to see our OB Clinic, the initial cost upfront is $35. I'm not sure why, but that's what I'm dishing out. 

2. Prenatal classes range in price, but the average is $175. This comes out of your pocket, and you will never see this again!

3. Diapers are expensive. They cost about $25 per package, and you will use about $100 worth a month - at least! For poop!

4. Eventual daycare will set us back anywhere from $600 - $1200 per month. Yes, that is a lot of money for someone else to spend time with my child. I'm still not sure how I'm going to do this. I can't imagine my child being raised by someone else, and me paying them to do so.

5. Cribs, strollers, car seats, monitors, bouncy chairs, high chairs, playpens, bottles, toys, clothes, bath supplies, diaper supplies... these are HUGE expenses. Get everything from friends and family if you can. Invest in new mattresses and anything that poses a sanitary risk, but other than that, accept the hand-me-downs if you are offered them!

6. Maternity clothes are necessary. You will start to show around 12 - 16 weeks. That leaves another 20 weeks of trying to go to work every day in clothes without cutting off your circulation. You will need new clothes that stretch and grow with you, and a lot of companies will gauge you with the cost of them because it's a necessity, not a splurge. Accept donations for these as well, or go to a nice maternity consignment store. Don't invest in nice pieces - you never know when or if you might need them again.

7. Medical care in Canada is a great system, but when you go on maternity leave, your health care will be cut off for the year that you're off. Be prepared to either enroll in your partner's medical plan or start saving to pay through the nose for independent insurance.

8. Prepare, prepare, prepare. If you're anything like me, the preparation of baby costs a lot of money. I want to clean the carpets, get my car serviced, baby proof the house, maybe look into a molly maid service while we're at the hospital so the house is spotless when we get home, prepare some freezer meals in advance so I don't have to cook when I get back from the hospital, make sure everything is safe for the baby and me. This all costs some money upfront.

9. There will be a lot of unforeseen expenses at the hospital as well like circumcision for boys and a cost for the room. Our healthcare is good, but not everything is free.

10. Date nights. As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I realized that our lives were forever changed. I always knew that I didn't want to become one of those couples that becomes all about baby and forgets about each other. So the night I told my husband, I decided that no matter what, we were going out on a date. Every month, we're going to drop baby off at one of the 3 grandparents house and treat ourselves out for a date night. I think this is just as important as spending time with our baby... reconnecting with your partner so you can be better parents.

Mat Leave

I was excited to tell our family and friends the good news, but I was nervous to tell my work. I've been with the company since I was a spry young 20-year-old, and now I was a 33-year-old mom-to-be. I'd grown up with this company, and they had become like family.

A good friend at work was retiring yesterday after 38 years with the company. He'd announced his retirement in May, and we'd planned a lunch for him at the office. The same day, the owners were having a management meeting, so I thought it would be the best decision to tell my boss so they could make any changes they needed to make pending my departure.

I'd fretted about what to say, how to say it, when to say it. I decided to do it like a band-aid, and just let it rip. "Richard, I'm pregnant!" Easy, peasy! He was thrilled, and I was happy that he was so excited! It's been a very long time since anyone at this small company had a child, especially a woman. I think the youngest one is my other boss's 7-year-old. He said that we'd announce it to the staff later in the day, as I'd wanted to let the retiree leave and have his moment to shine.

After everyone gathered together for a pep-talk, Richard asked me to let everyone know the good news. I patted my tummy and said that as one member of our family departed, a new member was on it's way. The staff was happy, but then we quickly moved on to the topics at hand. Anti-climactic.

A few people came up to my desk later to congratulate me. My manager, who I'd told after Richard, said that she was excited, and that they'd hire a replacement on contract while I take my year off. Richard said that we'd make some changes. And everyone said that they'd do what they could to help. I'm so glad that the secret is out. Being evasive is so difficult for someone like me who is an open book and transparent with her own happiness and sadness. This was something I wanted to share with the people I spend 160 hours with a month. That's more than I see my own husband.

Now... I still have to tell my aunts and cousins! Oh boy.

Spilling the Beans to the Girls

My girlfriends and I are all very busy. Two of them are pregnant with their first child, one is a mom to a very busy 12 year old, and the other is busy being fabulous! So to get all of them together in one room since my wedding has been a challenge. When we all agreed on a lunch date that worked for all of us, I didn't know that I was pregnant yet. When I found out that we were expecting, I had to wait 2 whole weeks until this set lunch date to tell my favorite friends the exciting news.

We all met at The Cactus Club patio and started chatting right away about the 2 new babies on the way, about all of our lives, about our mutual friends. Like each time I'd divulged the big news, I had so many butterflies in my tummy. I didn't know how any of them would react. I knew they'd be happy, but I was scared nonetheless.

I announced that I had a little gift for Jay. I presented her with a box, inside was a little onesie that said "My best friend is cuter than your best friend". She didn't get it. Neither did any of the girls. I then had to say it was to take her to the hospital in. Jay said "You mean home from the hospital?" "No," I said, "to the hospital... to visit." Emily got it first and jumped out of her seat... all 31 weeks of her! :) Then they all realized I was pregnant, and it was hugs and tears all around. Jay wasn't surprised, but the other 3 were.

Afterwards, Lizz told the waitress the news, and after we finished our lunch we were presented with a congratulations cake from the restaurant.

I was so relieved that everyone was so happy and encouraging. They all sent me sweet messages later to say how excited they were for us... and I hope that they can all be Peanut's aunties in his/her life forever. It's especially exciting because Peanut will have 2 little friends very close in age, and I will have a lot of support from other new moms. We'll even all be on mat leave together for a while!

I still had to tell my work, my extended family, and a few other good friends, but so far, most of the important people in our lives were aware of this huge change in our lives, and everyone was very thrilled to meet this little person!

Telling the family...

It had been exactly a week since I'd found out, and keeping our wonderful secret from our family was absolutely, unnervingly exhausting! I tell my family everything. We're very close, and very open and honest with each other, and making up stories about going to the gym instead of the doctors was making me feel guilty when I should have been excited to share our plans.

It was father's day weekend, and we had decided we'd tell my mom on the Friday night. We asked my brother and his wonderful girlfriend to meet us at my mom's after work, and we picked up mom's favorite dinner - fish and chips. Things were chaotic when we got there because one of my brother's best friends showed up before my brother and mom arrived. He is like part of our family since we've known him since he was about 8 years old, but I still needed to be alone with my family for this ever-important announcement. By the time he left, everyone was starving, so we ate dinner first. I could hardly eat... my stomach was full of knots.

After dinner, we passed out gifts "from San Francisco". My mom looked at us inquisitively. I started filming as they opened their gifts - which were actually onsies with Grandma, Uncle, and Aunt on them. Here is their reaction:

It was perfect, and my mom was so very excited. She'd had her suspicions but didn't want to get too excited before it was for sure! Since then, she's been so proud to tell her friends that she's going to be a grandma! She also calls me Every.Single.Night. It can be annoying cause if I don't answer, she calls me until I do, but I understand her anxiety about wanting to make sure that her grandbaby was doing ok.

 

On Saturday, after a picnic on the beach and some running around, we headed out to Chilliwack to visit my in-laws. After some visiting, we handed his dad is Father's Day gift.

 

At first, my mother-in-law thought the Grandpa onsie we gave him was a little jacket for their chihwawa, but then when she clued in, it was precious. She, Aaron, and I all cried. After dinner at our favorite Chinese restaurant, they announced it was the best father's day they could imagine. My mother-in-law called my mom right after we left and they bonded over their new titles!

Sunday was time to tell my dad! We spent the day cleaning the house, shopping, and getting ready for the bbq at my dad's house. We showed up with ribs, salad, potatoes, corn, lots of appies, and a homemade chocolate cake.

Once we sat around the living room (it was raining out) eating the appies I prepared, I couldn't take it any longer and pulled out the gift to give him. The box was a hand carved wooden box I had given Aaron on our pre-wedding date night, but Aaron graciously agreed to give it to my dad as a father's day gift. Inside the box was a bottle of wine with a homemade label. Here is my dad's reaction:

As you can see, Wendy caught on pretty quickly after reading the label, but it took my dad at least 3 times to finally catch on. He was a little embarrassed that it took a while, but once he realized the meaning, he was over-the-moon thrilled. I was crying the minute it registered, he was crying, Wendy was crying, and my brother was crying. I think I've only seen my brother cry 3 or 4 times since becoming an adult, so this was a very special moment. After hugs and congratulations, my dad disappeared and emerged with a bottle of champagne. We toasted, and I had one sip before passing it on to my brother. We had dinner, dessert, and lots of fun talk about the baby before we said goodnight with more hugs and a few more tears.

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend of making our parents grandparents, and we are so happy that they were as excited and emotional as we are about this impending change in all of our lives!

Next: I tell my girlfriends!

The Answer...

I was sitting in the doctor's office, and he was standing in front of me with my chart in his hand.

"Why are you here today?" he asked. I was so confused... didn't he JUST see me four days ago?

"You sent me for lab tests and I'm here for the results" I answered. Of course he wasn't going to remember EVERY patient, especially a new one.

"Oh right," he said, reading carefully. And then he smiled, took off his glasses and continued "I'm sure glad I decided to wait by the test. Results are positive. You're pregnant."

I started crying. I sat in his chair weaping with happiness. He was confused now, and asked if they were happy or sad tears, and I said that they were happy... I'm just very emotional lately. And I couldn't stop. And then he started tearing up watching me. It was a funny, endearing moment. We chatted a while, and then he wrote up some new tests to send me to the lab with. He said I was VERY early in pregnancy, and to not shout it from the rooftops yet. He also suggested to stay away from certain foods, and only eat whole foods and exercise regularly since I'm carrying extra weight right now anyways.

Off I went to a family birthday party where I couldn't say anything, even to my darling husband. I went on with the night, silent, hoping I wasn't acting strange. And when we got home, the time just didn't feel right either, especially when he announced he had to go to the bathroom and spent 20 minutes holed up in there. Additionally, he went through SO much trouble in arranging his proposal for me that I wanted to make this special for him. I felt like he was just as invested in this as I was, and I wanted to tell him at the right moment.

Saturday morning he had an appointment to get the truck serviced. I took the opportunity to quickly clean the house, and then I set up my surprise.

The camera was set on the fireplace mantel set to record. When he walked in the door just before 10am, I was standing on our stairs waiting, camera rolling. He put his stuff on the side table and turned to look at me, not noticing the surprise hanging on the coat hanger at the door.

I had hung a superman onesie and a picture of my belly on our coat rack, so when I pointed to it, and he turned to look, he let out an expletive "No $%*#@!# Way!" I nodded and started crying, and we held on to each other for a long time. He took off his glasses, set them down, and wiped his eyes. "I'm going to be a dad. Wow!" was pretty much all he could say. It was a darling moment, and just as I'd hoped.

And then we went about the rest of our day, including a bbq at friend's for lunch, some shopping at the mall, a nap... and then tried out a new pub later that night to celebrate. And Sunday was more of the same - errands and cleaning and organizing. Just like most weekends. And we had to hold on to this very important secret for at least another week.

How did we tell our parents? Stay tuned.

Maybe We Didn't Leave Our Hearts in San Fran After All...

On June 3rd, 2013, I had my first appointment with my new family doctor. The office was conveniently located to our new home, the receptionists were really nice, and the space was clean, and to make things that much better, the doctor took patients throughout the evening so I didn't have to take time off work and wait in lines to see anyone.

When we met, we shook hands, and I immediately noticed his charming Irish accent. I was smitten! He started asking me questions, going over my medical history, what pills I had taken, etc. and when he discovered I wasn't using any contraceptives, I smiled and told him we were trying to start a family.

Surprised?

In February 2013, while on our Valentine's date, Aaron and I decided that I would not refill my prescription for my birth control. I'd been on it since I was 17, and I wanted to give my body time to recover. With my IC condition, I felt like my body was wrecked. We discussed using other forms of control, but ultimately, we decided we'd just let things play out - what happens, happens.

However, in late April 2013 we decided we wanted to start TRYING trying. We weren't super active though, but decided that we would REALLY get on the bandwagon in San Francisco. During our trip and in the weeks that passed, we were putting in a valiant effort to conceive. We didn't tell anyone about our plans, as we were already getting enough pressure from family and friends to "get with it and make babies". We didn't want to add fuel to the fire, so to speak.

Right away, the doctor sent me to the bathroom to take a test just to be sure. I sat in the doctor's room twiddling my thumbs, sure that he'd be coming back with a negative. After all, I'd taken a test the week before only to receive a negative result. But he walked back into the room with a smirk and said "Well, it's kinda on the fence!" What does that even mean?????? You can't be kind of pregnant! He said that it read as a negative, but his sixth sense told him to wait a minute. Suddenly, it changed. He said that he wanted me on prenatals right away, and wanted me to wait until Thursday, 3 days from then, to get a blood test to be sure, and to see him on Friday. I thanked him and made an appointment at the front desk.

I was excited at the possibility, but I felt so alone. I couldn't tell anyone! I didn't want to tell my husband in case it turned out to be negative... I didn't want him to go through that. And we hadn't told anyone else we were even trying! So I picked up some prenatal supplements, drove home to my empty house with Aaron at school for the night, and went about my nightly chores. I made dinner, I watched Real Housewives, I pet the cats, I played around on Pinterest, I downloaded all our San Fran pictures from our camera, and I made myself busy enough to not think about it!

And then Tuesday came... and Wednesday came and went... and it was all so much more painful to wait than I'd expected. However, Thursday was finally here! Off I went to the labs to get my blood checked for signs that we had conceived! I spent the day at work wondering what was going to happen... and then I went to the bathroom and started spotting, and suddenly got very paranoid.

All week long I'd been having "symptoms". I was told it was just phenomenons, the way that when you think you're sick with something, you pick up on cues that normally wouldn't alarm you. I was having tenderness in my breasts and not feeling well. I was wondering if my body was playing tricks on me. And now with the spotting, I was sure the test was negative. I was sick to my stomach.

Friday finally arrived, and my doctor visit wasn't until 4:50pm. Another full day of waiting. It was a day full of butterflies in my stomach, and I couldn't concentrate on anything.

I sat on the chair in his office waiting room... waiting eagerly for the news on whether or not I was going to be a mom, whether Aaron and I were going to be parents. I had a family party to attend that night, and I was trying to tell myself that no matter what the results were, no matter what came from the doctor's mouth, I had to have a straight face that night. If it was positive, I couldn't spill the beans. If it was negative, I'd have to wipe my tears and move on with life with no signs that anything was wrong.

I was called into the room, and they closed the door. I was minutes away from a word that was going to change my life, OUR life forever. Within 60 seconds, he was in the room, chart in hand, and my own heart was in my throat. It was either going to be a no, and we'd keep trying (practicing WAS fun after all!), or a yes and our worlds were about to change forever!

Stay tuned!

When We Returned from San Fran...

I've been dealing with Interstitial Cystitis since I was 21, unknowingly. I developed my first bladder infection at 21, and my regular doctor (who I'd had since before I was born) misdiagnosed it as being overweight and having back problems because of it. After solving that problem by leaving that family doctor, I continued to have bladder troubles. It got to the point in my mid-20's that I was getting an infection almost monthly. Medications weren't working and I was in a lot of pain. I saw a specialist who said to drink more water and pee more. I saw another specialist who told me that my tubes were too small, and proceeded with a procedure to widen them to allow bacteria to escape my bladder. Less than 2 weeks later, I had another "infection" and he not-so-kindly told me "then there is nothing else I can do for you". A year or two later, the clinic doctor I saw regularly finally referred me to a specialist who listened to me and correctly diagnosed me with Interstitial Cystitis and Hunner's Syndrome.

Basically, IC is a condition that causes inflammation in the bladder, and IC patients typically call them attacks. It's also known as painful bladder syndrome, for good reason. Hunners Syndrome is a secondary issue in some IC patients where ulcers develop on the bladder lining, making things that much worse. To date, I think I've had 3 surgeries to remove the ulcers. The surgery really is a blessing though - it relieves my symptoms for at least a year.

When I'm suffering my attacks, I get bloated along with being in pain. I get very worn down, sometimes nauseous, and sometimes other side effects like fevers, swollen glands, etc. It really depends on the attack - it has a mind of its own.

Anyways, it's been 26 months since my last surgery, and the attacks are coming back more and more frequently. I called my surgeon's office and discovered I needed to see a doctor to get a referral. Problem was... I don't have a doctor. Since I was 21 and was misdiagnosed as being "FAT" instead of suffering a bladder infection, I'd left my family doctor and relied on walk-in clinics for all of my health needs. But since moving with my husband away from the neighborhood I lived in through my 20's, I didn't even have my regular clinic to go to.

And so the search began for a family doctor in PoCo. I called a few places, but no one was taking new patients. However, I finally found a nice receptionist who took the time to ask if I had an illness that needed attention, and she accepted me in to see one of their doctors.

And that's when things started happening....

Stay tuned!

We Left Our Hearts In San Francisco

The wedding gift I presented to Aaron on our date night before the wedding was a trip to San Francisco. I booked it in October after having saved for over a year and he was over-the-moon surprised by the gesture.

And now, 6 months later, it was finally time for our next vacation!

After checking into our hotel, The Harbor Court Hotel (Kimpton), we ventured across the street to check out the ferry building.

 

 

We were pretty hungry by that point, so we decided to try out Perry's which was next to our hotel. Aaron had the burger, which he said was amazing, and I had the veggie burger which was probably one of the worst I've had. Oh well - it was the only less than satisfactory meal I had the entire trip!

Because we'd eaten lunch at 3pm, we decided to forgo dinner and settled on hitting the happy hour in our hotel for wine, and then settled into our room with some snacks to watch the finale of The Office!

The next day, we grabbed some coffees and pastries at the Ferry Building, and, after waiting for the transit system for 15 minutes and finding out it was down, we decided to venture forth to Alcatraz on foot!

We boarded the boat at 10:30am, and Aaron was bubbling with excitement. It's something he'd always wanted to see and never thought he would!

 

After Alcatraz, we were starving, so we walked over to Pier 39 where Chad and Jay recommended we eat at Bubba Gump's. The place was pretty fun, the food was amazing (we both ordered the Shrimp Po Boys), and my drink - AMAZING!

 

Afterwards, we headed back to the hotel for a nap and more happy hour, where we met a nice couple from Cleveland. We all headed to the Ferry Building for a quick dinner then to a little bar for a margarita!

 

Saturday mornings are Farmers Markets days at the Ferry Building, so we walked over to get a quick breakfast before heading out for the day. Aaron had a great big breakfast sandwich but I settled on a crab cake sandwich. It was one of the best things EVER! We also had the most delicious freshly squeezed orange juice. We rarely drink juice, so this was quite a treat!

After breakfast, we made our way to the Aquarium. We'd purchased City Passes in advance that included all of our transportation as well as some activities. We both love aquariums, so we took advantage of the free pass.

 

I must say that the aquarium was slightly unimpressive. Other than the tunnel that features the sting rays and sharks, it was kind of lame. So we didn't stay long, and opted instead to spend the rest of our day at the Fisherman's Wharf.

That evening, we decided to head downtown to check out a change of scenery. However, after we stepped off the bus, we were met by some very angry transient people. Although I've lived in Vancouver my entire life and spent 8 years living in a part of town that housed a lot of unsavory people, we were just a little too overwhelmed with the chaos, and we got right back on the bus and headed to our comfort zone!

 

That evening for dinner, we had our first disagreement of the trip because we couldn't decide on a place to eat. After he changed his shirt from the above Joker shirt into something slightly more formal, he finally decided on the restaurant across from our hotel called Americano.

It was a wonderful choice!!! Aaron got a steak, and I got trout. It was an expensive dinner, but well worth it!

On our last full day there, Sunday, we decided to take advantage of our pass again and ride the cruise ship around the bay. It was a beautiful day, but I was fighting a sun burn, so I was all covered up.

The cruise was great because it allowed us to see parts of the city we hadn't seen yet like the entire waterfront and the Golden Gate Bridge.

 

It also went around the outside of Alcatraz, so it was nice to see it from all angles.

 

I'm a huge animal lover, so one of the things I was most excited to see was the docks full of sea lions. They were so loud, but so funny and full of personality!

After the cruise, we went back to Fisherman's Wharf. One thing we wanted to eat while there was real clam chowder out of a sourdough bread bowl. It's funny, but we both ended up with crab chowder instead!

That evening, our last dinner was at The Crab House on Pier 39 which was recommended by a friend. We had reservations, and it's a good thing because it was a popular destination.

We settled on the Crab for 2 as well as a cesear salad.

Aaron said it was the best crab he's ever had! I have to agree! We capped off the meal with a plate of tiramisu which was presented to us on the house because it was our "honeymoon". Technically it was our second honeymoon, and part of the wedding! :)

All in all, the trip was pretty amazing. But I think the best part of the trip was what we brought home with us... stay tuned!