Where Boys Become Men...

My husband and I have both always wanted our own rooms to call our own away from the main areas, so when we bought our house, Aaron chose a room he dubbed (as most do) his man cave. I took the smaller room. He didn't mind the blue that was already in his "man cave" which had been a boys room previously, but I went all out on my office with teal walls, girly white accents, and memories of our recent wedding all over the room.

Soon after moving in, I became a Scentsy consultant and that office became more of a Scentsy home base for me. I didn't spend a lot of time in there, however, because I just didn't need to. I thought I'd be in there all the time doing crafts, working on projects, wrapping presents, and working on my business. But life always seemed to get in the way. However, my dear husband loved his "man cave". He had hung his treasured framed posters on the walls, decorated the shelves and his desk with his favorite things, and best of all, hung his shadow box full of the die-cast comic book figurines I'd been buying him over the years.

In February 2013 when we decided we wanted to start thinking about babies, we knew that we'd be giving up one of our offices to become a nursery. We'd always said it would be the "man cave" because it's slightly larger. In all honesty, though, by the time we got pregnant and started seriously talking nurseries, my husband started changing his mind about the office transition. To him, it meant the end of his xbox marathons, the finale of his man time, the completion of his days as a comic-book reading, game playing, crotch scratching, candy eating man with no worries in the world. He tried to insist that the baby didn't need a big room. He tried to convince me that we needed more room for our offices. He tried to turn me on to the idea that the baby would be better off in my freshly-painted office. He tried - unsuccessfully.

Soon, my lovely husband started the process of packing up his favorite things, and eventually, in late November, we made the official switch and combined offices to my bright teal room. I gave him my closet for his gaming system, moved the couch to give him a big place to rest, and his computer died just as he was about to set it up, so I gave him my little netbook to download his comics on to. He seems happy enough, although it's no where near a man cave.

I'm so proud of him for taking this change like a man. He knew in his heart that the baby deserved the best possible space to grow in. And on top of it, we have big plans for the garage to turn it into half man-cave, half play space.

The end of November and the start of December was all about making the nursery a wonderful place for baby to lay it's head... and in my next post, I'll reveal the results.

Reflections

Sometimes I feel sorry for myself. We all do. I especially feel sorry for myself when I see other people doing frivolous things whereas Aaron and I struggle financially. We have a long list of to-dos that involve money that we don't have. I feel sorry for myself when I visit others homes that are spacious and contain play rooms for their children and room to roam, whereas my baby will have little space. I feel sorry for myself when I see skinny moms with perfect bellies, and I'm large and doughy. I'm trying to be honest - I feel sorry for myself.

And then something happens a lot of the time. I hit a wall. I wake up. I realize what I have and how what I have is something that I love. I love my husband. I love my future child. I love laying on my very comfortable couch in front of the fireplace watching a movie with my favorite person by my side. I love baking delicious desserts in the kitchen that we built with our own blood, sweat, and tears (literally) and with the help of our dads and my uncle. I love waking up in a warm bed with my perfect little cat at my feet who never wakes up before me, almost like he is protecting me. He won't go downstairs with Aaron... he waits for me, and then when I'm ready, he bounds down a few steps, turns around to make sure I'm following, and then continues on to the main level. I love that Aaron kisses my belly and tells the baby he loves him/her. How can anyone complain when they have what I have?

This is the most wonderful time of the year...

One of the things I love about winter is how jolly people become. I consider winter to fall on November 1st and continue until at least the end of January. November is my anniversary with my husband and my birthday, December is my mom's birthday, Christmas, and winter in general is all of the other wonderful things that associate with these big moments.

This year, things are different than any other year. For one, we're in our home and settled in. We had moved in last December 1st, but we were still a little bit in disarray and hadn't done much to fix up our home yet. This year, our kitchen is complete, the house is almost fully painted, and we feel somewhat content. But of course, the big change is that we're pregnant with our first child. I remember the day that my family first came over to see our place and help us paint - the day we got our keys. I remember my aunt saying that she could just see our kids walking down the stairs on Christmas morning holding hands and gazing at the tree. It makes me cry actually to think about it because as far away as it seemed at the time, I could see it too. On Christmas morning when I was a kid, my dad would stay in bed with us and make my brother and I wait until my mom had turned on the tree and the Christmas music and made coffee, tea, and cinnamon toast. And then, the three of us would walk down the stairs together to see what Santa had delivered as my mom took our pictures of our pure joy! I remember that moment very clearly, and the photos are precious and full of childhood amazement and glory. And to think that someday our children, mine and Aaron's, will have the same memories is very special to me. So this year, just over a year later, we are so excited to be starting our own family.

We've had our marathon shopping day, decorated our home, put our special ornaments on our tree that we've been collecting for our entire relationship including a new one for our new family, and put on Christmas music while we clean. Things are a bit tough this year because finances aren't as accessible and I'm much larger and not quite as mobile, but I've wanted to continue some of our regular traditions. We're trying to watch all of our Christmas movies, visit with friends including my annual Christmas get-together with Jay (and this year Charlotte as well), bake, sing carols together while we cook dinner, and wear our funny Christmas shirts.

I'm hoping that next year we can start some additional Christmas traditions, like reading the baby The Night Before Christmas on Christmas Eve, leaving cookies and milk out for Santa, going shopping FOR the baby, and have our whole family over for Christmas dinner. Family is so important to us, and I want to emphasize it even more when the baby is here. Although my few close friends mean the world to me, it is vital that this child remembers that family will always be more important than the toys you get or the clothes you wear. Family will support you and love you whereas the newest gadget never will.

I can't wait to start all new traditions, have new experiences, and create new memories with our little family of 3!

Updated Questions from Mama To Be...

I'm 31.5 weeks in now, and I thought this would be a good time to update my previous post on questions I've received.

My bump at 30.5 weeks

Q. Is your husband excited?
A. He's thrilled and scared all at the same time. We've been taking baby classes through Douglas College, and even though it's exhausting to be out so late every week, I think it's prepared us much more for what's in store. It warms my heart when he talks to my belly and worries about us both.

Q. How are you feeling?
A. I'm utterly exhausted. I have heartburn all the time, I'm swollen, and I don't sleep all that well. Baby is also moving around A LOT which is exciting and strange all at the same time.

Q. Do you have any cravings?
A. My cravings have changed since the beginning and even since my last post 5 weeks ago. I crave milk (mostly chocolate milk) and mandarin oranges currently. The oranges aren't a strange one for me because I've been a citrus lover forever, but I hadn't drank a glass of milk since I was a kid and now I guzzle it like it's water.

Q. Do you know what you're having? Do you think you have a feeling as to what you're having?
A. We didn't find out because Aaron really wanted the surprise factor. Strangely enough, half of our birthing class chose to not find out, which seemed odd to me because most people these days opt for knowing in advance. I felt in the beginning that it was a girl. Aaron believes it's a boy. My acne, dairy cravings, and the way I carry point to girl, but at my office pool at work, it's exactly split 50/50 on boy vs. girl.

Q. Do you have names picked out?
A. I do in my head. I'm stuck on a girl name and a boy name, but I do have quite a few options. Aaron has a girl name that he really wants, but no preference on boys names yet. But we both agree that we have to meet the little person before we decide.

Q. Do you feel the baby kicking?
A. At first the baby was resigned to dance on my bladder exclusively. It's gotten higher, and sometimes I get the double whammy of a punch and a kick at the same time. My favorite though is seeing the movement through my shirt. I love it! And Aaron's been able to feel it more now too!

Q. Is the nursery finished?
A. We had my family over for my birthday Saturday a week and a half ago. We made very good progress. The crib was assembled, as was the stroller and play pen system. The nursery was painted and the closet was installed. We also changed out the door handle, cleaned the windows, and got some other small things done around the house. Aaron still has to finish the dresser and rocking chair, and we're having a family friend over on Sunday to paint a mural on the wall. I can't wait to see it all done.

Q. How are you handling your changing body?
A. I feel like a house basically! At my last check-up, I'd gained a substantial amount of weight, but this week it was slower - just 3lbs over 4 weeks. I felt better about that, but I've still gained about 30lbs so far in the 31.5 weeks of pregnancy. It's a bit more than I'd wanted because I still have 8 weeks to go!

Q. Are you taking birthing classes?
A. Our last class is tonight. I've enjoyed hearing about other people's journeys and meeting other moms in our neighborhood. It's been a good journey for me though because Jay and Emily experienced it right before me and I've never felt alone. But taking the classes gave me new perspective on what to expect.

Q. What's your birth plan?
A. I am planning on no drugs, but if it's better for me and the baby, I'll relent. I learned that gas is a much better option to get through contractions and doesn't affect the baby at all, so that may be my main method of pain management. I also want to just deal with it through breathing exercises and massage therapy. I've learned a lot more about this in our class. I highly recommend the classes.

Q. Do you plan on breastfeeding?
A. I am. I wholeheartedly want to and always have. However, at 19 years old, I had a breast reduction and was told at the time that I may or may not be able to breastfeed when the time came. At 19, this wasn't really a factor for my decision. I've never regretted my decision. But now that I'm gearing up to give birth and give my child essential nutrients through my body's natural source of food, I'm concerned. However, both my doctor and my birth coach assure me that I could be just fine. Another potential issue is that both my mom and my aunt (my mom's sister) had issues with breastfeeding. My mom was clogged and developed a painful infection, but in the end could still breastfeed us. My aunt couldn't at all. If I struggle, I'll go through any means necessary to ensure that I am able to do this for my baby. I know the positives of natural breastfeeding vs. formula, and I'm going to do everything in my power to ensure that my baby has the best start to life!

Q. Is your hospital bag packed yet?
A. Yes, as far as I can anyways. I have my overnight bag and also the diaper bag for baby packed. I continue to add to them, and will of course have last minute things to pack like my maternity pajamas. But I think most of the essentials are ready to go.

Q. Are you having a shower?
A. 3 of my amazing girlfriends banned together to throw me a shower. I decided, with the help of Lisa, that it's much more fun to have a shower pre-baby as a last hurrah to my life without a child. I know this may sound strange, but I feared all the chaos that surrounds the baby once it's born. So, my shower will be in January, and the invitations have now all been sent and received. I can't wait to see what they have come up with and spend some time with all the important ladies in my life.

Q. How much time are you taking for maternity leave?
A. I'm leaving 3 weeks before I'm due for the start of my maternity leave. I convinced Jay to do the same, and she ended up having Lil C 2 weeks early so it was good that she planned it the way she did. My last day at work is the day before my shower, so I'll be able to relax and enjoy myself and then await Peanut's arrival at home. I plan on taking my full year of maternity to take advantage of the limited time I have with baby and see her/him grow and start all the firsts that I may miss if I go back early. Aaron and I are both very aware of how much of a financial strain this will be on us, but the way I see it - your child is the most important thing in the world and there is no sacrifice too large for time with her/him. We'll be in debt for the rest of our lives regardless - I'd rather go deeper happy than go back early and miss out on valuable time.

Please feel free to ask if you have any other questions!