We had lunch on the weekend with a friend from high school and her husband, and their two adorable girls. We ate fish and chips in the park. I bought the girls giant bubble wands, and we watched them blow them and giggle and chase them, and laughed when a few popped right on their nose. We walked slowly back home because one of them is 19 months and the other has special needs and uses a walker. Normally, the slow pace and stopping every 6 feet might test my patience. That day, however, things seemed different. I know it's not because I have a child growing inside me. I know it's not because I had sore feet, so I didn't mind the slow pace. It's because I am head over heels for these girls, and watching the patience and love their parents show every day gives me hope that when I give birth to this baby and she/he starts to grow up, maybe I'll have some patience as well. It's something I know I lack in my day to day life.
Our friends discovered their oldest daughter's condition before she was one. She wasn't progressing like most children her age. Their parents noticed it first, because the new parents were just too in love with this beautiful red headed little angel to really see any flaws. But soon it was apparent. She wasn't crawling, wasn't speaking, wasn't focusing. She is now going into grade 2 and she's progressed so much in the last few years. She's gone from only being able to crawl a few years ago to now walking with the help of leg braces. She is so intelligent, but sometimes her speech is unintelligible, but most of the time, she gets her point across. She's so beautiful and she's so fun and she's very kind. She loves hugs and loves cats and gold fish crackers and French fries. To her parents, she's their world. The younger daughter is just as beautiful with curly red hair and bright blue eyes and a wonderful laugh. She doesn't have the same condition, but they treat them no differently. Their mother, my friend, hopes that they are best friends as they get older, and I'm sure they will be.
I watched these parents go through 5 years of anguish with their daughter who was different than they'd expected her to be. I watched these parents who went to great, painstaking measures to bring another daughter into the world without the same issues as their first. I watched these parents who give so much of themselves to their children. I watched these parents who traded in fun cars for a minivan to fit the stroller and walker and/or wheelchair. I watched these parents who have to carry their second grader up two flights of stairs every day to go to the washroom. I watched these parents who struggle daily to make sure their girls both feel as normal and loved as every other child on this planet. I watched these parents. I watched them closely. I watched their hearts soar as they watched them. I watched their fears of them falling. I watched their pride as they walked and ran on their own. I watched them. And I felt like if they could do it with all of these issues they've faced and overcome, I can certainly do it with one. I can certainly be the best mom I know how to be. I can do this. I can.
I don't know why some children are born with so many more barriers in life than the rest of us. I don't know why she was chosen to have this condition. I don't know why my friend and her husband had the matching genes to give to her. I don't know why my friend didn't have the life she necessarily wanted or thought she'd have. But she was so blessed with these two amazing girls, and it's made her stronger, selfless, and a fighter. She's going back to school to work with kids with special needs. This life that was given to her by some other power has given her purpose. And maybe that's why.
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