I.C. Pain

I touched briefly before about living with Interstitial Cystitis. I wasn't sure how dealing with it during pregnancy was going to go - I don't know anyone personally who has what I have, let alone gone through pregnancy with it. 

I've done a little reading, and basically, women who suffer from IC can either have it worsen or almost disappear while carrying a child. It is not passed on to the children, from what they can gather, and it doesn't affect reproduction or the living fetus. However, many of the medications prescribed haven't been tested on women who are pregnant either. Luckily for me, I don't take medication. It's not for lack of wanting to, but more that I took so many incorrect pills during the period of time that I went undiagnosed that I developed an immunity to the majority of drugs for that type of pain. I now just choose to go without.

Also luckily for me, I have an amazing surgeon who relieves my pain through surgery every year and a half or so. This time however, when the symptoms came back and I was able to go in for a referral, I found out I was pregnant. I was overjoyed at the news, and slightly concerned at what was in store for me.

Sorry for being long-winded here, but I'm getting to my point. I'm in pain. I'm in a lot of pain. Compounded with my exhaustion and achy body is now a severe pain caused by my IC. On top of having IC, I have Hunner's which is ulcers that develop on my bladder that makes everything so much worse. There are many people who have it worse than me. Through online support groups, I've heard that some people are unable to work or have stable relationships. I'm thankful that I can live a full life while living with this condition. But I have to say it again... I'm in a LOT of pain. I try not to bore family, friends, and my husband with my belly-aching about it because I dealt with it for 7 or 8 years before I knew what I really had, much of the time complaining about how awful I felt. I wouldn't want to hear about it anymore, so why would they? But I have to say that this is harder than I imagined it would be. The weight of my growing insides are pushing on my bladder, intensifying all the pain I'd normally have. The uncomfortable throbbing inside me is making me crazy. It's taking a toll on my emotional well-being because in addition to feeling beyond tired and cranky, I now have to have a constant reminder in my pelvic area that I'm different. I'm suffering silently.

I'm going to go home, put on my pajamas, and try to lay down with a hot water bottle. I'm going to try to not be miserable. I'm going to try to not be angry at my body and at the world. I'm going to kiss my husband and thank him yet again for putting up with me.

Good night!