I saw my mom's battle scars growing up. She wore them with pride. Those white/pink lines on her belly that she'd point at when I'd glance at them and say "Yup, you gave these to me, and it was all worth it." I figured one day I'd get them too. When we'd have to stop multiple times on road trips, and my brother and I would sigh because Mom had to pee agaaaaaain, she'd turn around and say "You two ruined my bladder forever." I knew pregnancy would probably result in more frequent bathroom trips. I knew that when she was in labour with me, my dad left to get dinner at White Spot. Did all Dads go get dinner while the Moms waited for baby to arrive? I knew she called my dad at school during a test, and he wanted to finish writing it before he left because he figured it would take a while. I wasn't born until 10pm. I guessed labour pains last a full day.
That was about all I knew about my mom's journey to bring me into the world. She saved me from the details. Even when I was an adult and our family and my friends were having babies, I didn't know the nitty gritty reality of what I would experience in pregnancy or labour because my mom didn't divulge her own journey.
Now that I'm almost due myself, she's told me more and more about what she went through, usually only after I've expressed my own anguish over my own battle scars.
Here's what my mom never told me, that I want to pass along to you. You may not have these symptoms, and my mom may not have had these either, but this is what I've experienced that I wish I'd been more prepared for.
1. Heartburn - I'd heard that some women get heartburn, but no one I knew personally ever complained about it. I had it for the majority of my pregnancy. There are pills for it, and remedies that are safe for pregnancy, but TUMS have been my best friend. Now that I'm less than 4 weeks until my due date, the heartburn has subsided somewhat, and it only occurs now and then. But I wish that someone had told me in advance so that I could have stocked up at Costco.
2. Hemorrhoids - I got my first case of them on Sunday after a family dinner. There was no warning. I stood up to leave, and my bum hurt. By the time we drove home, I was in severe pain. I asked Aaron how I'd know if I had them, and he said to feel for them. Yup. It was the big H. I didn't know this would be an issue. My mom never told me that she'd had them as well. Apparently when you're pregnant, especially in the third trimester, the baby dropping a little bit and going into position with the head down puts extra pressure on your rectum and you end up with a big round disgusting ball hanging out of your butt hole. It's uncomfortable, sore, and gross. After phoning my doctor to find out what the safe methods of relief would be, I ran to the store for some Preparation H and soothing pads. I wish I didn't have to work this week! The chair is killing my poor back end.
3. Houdini Stretch Marks - Yes, I was fully aware of stretch marks and the fact that I'd most likely end up with them since my mom had them and wore them with pride. But I thought I was in the clear when my third trimester hit and I only had a few small ones on the side of my torso. Then one day I walked past our full length mirror and I almost fell over. They were like spider webs all across my mid-section. Literally nothing one night, and in the morning - poof - the place where stretch marks go to party. Not cool. Not cool at all.
4. Swelling - We've all heard that pregnant women swell, and maybe we all do it in different ways. I've ended up with ankles that look more like Shrek feet than human ones. They are like elephant legs. My mom bought me a dress to wear to the shower, and I can't expose anyone to these beasts. I wish someone would invent a pill to make only our beautiful bellies grow, and nothing else.
5. Smells and Sweating - No one will tell you this. Maybe even your best friend will keep it a secret. My bff and I are more upfront with each other, and we shared this little tidbit that I'm going to pass along to you. You will smell worse between your legs from pregnancy than from not showering for 2 months. It's rancid. It's nasty. It's natural. Don't be afraid of it... it's still your vagina, but there's something living inside your body that is making that beautiful woman part smell like it's rotting. Sorry, ladies, but it will most likely happen to all of you. The sweating doesn't help your smells either. It was -7 at our house in December, and I wore a sweater outside, no jacket. I constantly run hot since carrying this child, and I'm thankful I wasn't as large in the summer. You will sweat from every pore in your body. Get used to it.
6. Comments - This isn't a physical ailment... it's a psychological one. The comments people give you when pregnant will go straight to your head. You're already a hormonal hurricane, but the voices of others will turn that into a full fledged tornado of emotions. People will say hurtful things that they think are funny. Yesterday a coworker (male of course) looked at my belly and asked if I thought I'd have a large baby. What is that even supposed to mean? I screamed that I'm measuring normal so screw off! Okay, I only thought that in my head, but I just politely told him that everything is on track right now. Be aware that people are happy for you, but the fact that you're carrying a baby makes you a large target for jesters. Smile and move on... easier said than done.
Right now that is all I can come up with that might save you a little bit of insanity. I wish my mom would have told me more of what I could expect... but I'm sure in her mind, none of it mattered. Maybe she thought that if she spared me the gory details, I'd be more inclined to give her grandchildren. Pregnancy, labour, child-rearing... it's all scary things. It's all got its drawbacks. But if it was so terrible, hundreds of billions of people before us wouldn't have had multiple children.
I'm looking forward to finishing this journey in 2 - 6 weeks from now. Really, it could happen any day. And when my child grows up, whether it's a girl or a boy, I will probably tell them how much I loved the 9 months they lived inside me, and spare them the details as well. Will I forget all of the pain and suffering - nope. Is baby worth it - oh hell yes. But the destination this time, unlike most journeys, is so much better!
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