Peanut,
Before we knew what our future held, before we knew what path we would take, and before we knew what our lives would become, we knew that you were in our plan... at some point.
I went wedding dress shopping with my girlfriends on November 26th, 2011. On the way home, they asked what I'd do with my dress after the wedding, and I thought of you. I thought about making a gown for my someday child, or a blanket for the someday nursery. I thought about how much I loved your father and wanted to someday raise a baby with him after saying I do. Now, almost exactly 2 years later, I feel you inside me, kicking and swimming and playing and moving, and I remember how much I loved you even before you were a real thought.
You have grown so much since we first found out we were having you 24 weeks ago - you've gone from a speck of dust to a 2.5lb baby. June 7th I got the test results. I cried and cried happy tears. I continue to cry happy tears when I see your picture or hear your heartbeat or even just think about how much I can't wait to meet you. I cry because you are the final piece of my puzzle. I hope to never have to tell you about the struggles I've had in my life, and how sometimes things seemed dire. Sometimes I had no hope that my life would be happy and complete. Sometimes I struggled to find air. But the moment I met your dad, I found hope, I found my happy place, I found my oxygen. And although he and I had our fair share of obstacles, we fought our way through them because we knew that this life we've built together was worth fighting for. And now, you're growing inside me and your daddy kisses you through my belly every morning. He helps me up when I am tired, literally, and holds my hand when I feel I need a little extra help. The struggles I've had in life were worth it because it all led me to this life that I have now, and led me to creating you with your father. You are the missing puzzle piece, the thing I dreamed about and imagined when I was a little girl, even before I knew that a boy had to be part of the process. I've always wanted you, and here you are.
We really can't wait to meet you. We have 11 more weeks to wait, and we're getting our home ready for you to join it and our family. We are counting down the days, waiting for you because when you make your grand, screaming entrance into this big, beautiful world, life will be complete - you'll be the best part of our life. You have no idea how much you are already loved by so many people. Your grandparents, your uncles and aunt, your great uncles and great aunts, your cousins, our friends, our coworkers... everyone is waiting for you to become part of our days. We are all so excited to see who you will become. Will you have brown hair or red? Will you have brown eyes or blue? Will you be chubby like me or thin like your dad was? Will you be full of gusto or calm and serene? Will you want everyone to hear you or be a wallflower? Will you have your grandpa's nose or your grandma's ears? You have so many special things to show us... and I can't wait to know you.
Stay in there for 11 more weeks, okay baby, but when you're ready, we'll be ready to hold you and love you and remind you every day that you're the best thing that's ever happened to us. You've given me a reason to believe in miracles and given me hope that I have something good to give another little being. I can't wait to be your momma!
Love Mom
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